Dual....:-)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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