jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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