if you like me you must not know who I am
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
