That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
