ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
