This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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