Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
