she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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