We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize