he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
