Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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