Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize