It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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