you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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