Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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