..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
