they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
