It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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