My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
