So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
