areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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