Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
