he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
