i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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