he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
