Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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