when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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