We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize