I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
