I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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