what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize