there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
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