its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
