I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
