(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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