I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
