Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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