well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
