last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
