Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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