the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
