You're so nebulous sometimes
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
