oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
