a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
