We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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