She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
