just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
