we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
