SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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