in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
