Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize