i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
