i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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