she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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