The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Someone signed my nipple.
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