That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
