How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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