Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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