I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
