K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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