oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
