pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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