she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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