I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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